Late night early morning thoughts

Well I'm laying here in bed at about one in the morning. The day has come and gone. Got a b plus on my latest driving lesson.

But at the end of the day I have no social life and I know I did this to myself in one way or another. I feel like I am still sixteen obsessing over whether or not I will make any new friends at school yet I have no such thing to go to in the first place.

I keep trying to work up the courage to talk to one of my old friends. To see if they would want to hang out with me. Catch a movie maybe even get lunch or something but it has been so long sense I talked to any of them and we are all different people.

We may not get along anymore. Not to mention the last time I tried to meet up with one of them I was completely blown off.

Well a loner will always be a loner I suppose.  Yet somehow I am laying here hoping some one is reading this somewhere out there in the world and can relate.

Knowing something like that makes me feel a little less lonely. Thanks for reading if you are reading.

Well now as I finish this up it is 1:05 am and I need to attempt to fight my insomnia and get some sleep. Good night to all of you.

Valentines Day

Well first for the good news.  I made it through my first driving lesson.  I even got a B on it so Yay for me. Now all I need to do is find someone to let me use their car to practice. Not going to be easy but I'll figure something out.

Now for other news. I'm alone on valentines day. It's something that I have grown use to but sometimes it still feels a bit lonely.

I'm sure I'm not the only one alone today so for all those other loners out there I hope your valentines day is going better than mine.

Man I can't wait to get out of this city. But all in due time.

Happy valentines day.

Lobby

Well at the moment I am sitting in the lobby of my driving school awaiting for the instructor to show up. I'm nervous but I think you all knew that by my first post.

Luckily I think today's lesson is just on parking so it shouldn't be too bad. Except for the fact that I may hit another parked car.

But no matter what this is going to be worth it. I have a plan to get out of the dead state I live in. And part of it entitles a road trip with a trailer full of my belongings. Kind of need a license for that.

Going to go to a new state where the issue that is my family can't bother me or ruin my life anymore.  Yes I plan on running away but every one runs at least once in their lives.

My once will take me to a greener better place where I can start over and have a brand new life.

I'll update on how the driving went.  If I get through it.

First entry

I could be desperate posting my thoughts online but I figured that the Web is already full of desperate people so what's one more.

Welcome to my blog diary.

Well on with the show. I started taking drivers ed not too long ago. And at 20 that seemed strange enough considering how I should have taken it in high school. But tomorrow is the day I've been dreading. The day I get behind the wheel of a car. I'm terrified of driving.  I'm scared I'm going to hurt someone due to a small case of negligence. But at my age it's something that needs to be done.

I don't want to hurt anyone or worse kill them.

But I suppose we will have to see what happens won't we.

I will have to be careful and vigilant with my focus so I don't ruin someone's life. Man that is a scary thought...